This Cook Book is AWESOME! buy it!

Better Homes and Gardens 15th edition. There are so many great recipes, your family will love. I try to eat really healthy. These recipes aren't always healthy, so I omit what's not healthy, and add what is. For example, if it calls for cream of broccoli, I can get organic, and low sodium, substitute the butter. Anything you don't think you should eat.

It has a casserole page. I love casseroles. They're delicious, and my family tears them up. Easy to make. These recipes are so neat, because they give you a ton of options for your taste, and come out great. They give you 5 options, and you pick.

Day 9: weaning off Paxil.

The beginning of the day was easy, breezy. I thought, this is easy. Then the evening came. I realized, life is hard without an antidepressant. My life is more difficult than I thought. Paxil was sugar coating, and covering up a lot for me so I didn't deal with anything. But this evening it hit me, being married is difficult. I had no idea my life was this crazy. lol that is what I thought today. Now, I calmed down and realized nothing in this life is guaranteed anyway. Shouldn't hold on to it so tight.

Oh the irony.

This is St. Patrick's Day. This is my 6 year old daughter Alissa. She's at the hospital on St. Patrick's Day. Her shirt says charming and lucky. I couldn't help but sit in the ER looking at her shirt thinking, "Girl, you are not so lucky today". Oh the irony. We spent all Saturday, mostly having fun outside. We love to be outside when it's nice out. Anyway, I was running the dog on the 45 inch leash, I told Alissa not to grab the leash. She did, and at a very strong force, the dog pulled her into the pavement. She couldn't move her wrist. So, fast forward, we're at the ER, and after waiting a while, she doesn't act like it hurts so bad. She does exaggerate. It's her personality. She has a wonderful personality BTW. The Doctor comes in, and she can't act out her part in acting like she's hurt bad. She exaggerates the ow, says ow when the Dr. isn't touching her, the dr. says I don't know about that. Long story short, x-rays come back negative, nothing broken. We go home, and she said she's just joking. I thought to myself, I could be uptight and agitated, but this is a learning opportunity for her. I taught her not to exaggerate when your hurt so we know at what degree to treat you. It just doesn't help. I showed her the story of the boy who cried wolf. I explained there are people in the ER a lot worse off than you, like the boy who fell on his head off of the playground equipment, that was rushed in the ER, and his parents were ignorant enough to not be so concerned, relaxed, and on the phone talking about their "plans for tonight". The 65 year old man with the low heart beat with congestive heart failure. So, I explained that to her, because Mommy used to be a Nurses aid, and take care of people. I taught her to save her acting for her play time, and not the er or when you're hurt. I taught her to care for the sick. I didn't scold her, make her feel bad, beat her, punish her. No, it's an slo Significant learning opportunity. I disciplined her, taught her. After all the definition of discipline is to teach.

This is Miss Turtle. The kids named her "Tiny" or "Cinderella" which ever. I have her more water in the tank, and now she is happy. Then I added too much. I worried she'd suffocate. I emptied it out. I fed her strawberry, and lettuce. I'm attached to her so I want her to have a long happy life. I change her water every week, and try to feed her healthy. She a red eared turtle. She's neat, I'm glad my daughter wanted a turtle, and I'm glad we got her.

Married to an ex cook.

You learn how to cook, so I am going to share recopies, and what I learned. I would cook, and he would say "needs more salt, this needs to cook more, add this, do this, do that. At first I took it as an insult, and then I realized it really helped. Jesse was a cook for 20 years.

Fried Rice recipe.

Add Onions add some basil, saute for a few mins, add garlic carrots, and more basil, saute until done, push carrots to the side, scramble some eggs, I put pepper and salt in the eggs, then after eggs are done cooking, add cold cooked rice, and add soy sauce. Enjoy!

Honesty, the best policy, when you have your own business. Yeah!?

The guy that sold me his car out of his lot said "It was so cheap because it had a broken head gasket". He said this a month later, after we told him he has two choices: Repair it. Pay for all of the repair. Repair it correctly. We'll come in, and watch your mechanic. Option #2-Full refund. Option #3 Get sued, we filed a complaint with Federal Trade Commission. He broke a few laws. We had a free consultation with a lawyer. Well, he didn't tell us upfront, and that is illegal. I printed the law up, and showed him. So, he had to fix it for free. So not only did we get a low mileage, almost new car, he had to fix it for free. He is reaping his dishonesty. He lost money. That is what he get's for being dishonest. I have to report him, so he doesn't do this to someone else. Well, he will, but I'd like to try to prevent it. Do my part. He lost out on his money, all because of dishonesty. I wonder if he'll learn????

My daughter is so funny....

My six year old wouldn't share her candy. She said "Mommy, you can't have my candy, you're getting too fat!" I thought it was so funny.

Weaning off Paxil. Day 8:

I had a little wave of panic for 30 secs. when I was working out. At least I am not numb from Paxil, and can learn to deal with it. I was crabby, irritable yesterday, but happy at the same time. Weaning off this med. makes you have mood swings. You'll be sad, then you'll think of something, and start laughing. Weird. I'll be leveled out soon.

Weeds, weeds, weeds,

Gotta pull them. THey're a pain, but it's worth it, when you eat the veggies, and fruits you grow in your yard. I'm going to put 5 pieces of sod. Going to be pretty.

Mommy got a big ol' butt. Weight loss blog.

This is me today, weight in 170 :( last year, I was 140. what happened? :(

chunky. don't like it. I did an hour of Tony Horton's p96x Ploy-metrics. This work out kicks your butt. This is a workout that will make you look good in your jeans. You feel the difference the next day.

Drink this drink, if you muscles feel sore, and weak during a work out. It helps.

This work out is great if your pear shaped, bottom heavy like I am.... My goal weight 125. Yep! I like to eat, let's see if I can get there. I think I have a mesmo/endo morph body type. I hope Mesmo muscular because it's easier to lose weight.

Gas prices.

They said on the news, gas prices are going to go up to $5.00 a gallon this summer. That better not be true. We struggle enough as it is financially being a single income, stay at home Mom. I guess I'll start going to the food bank. Good thing about summer is, you can go to community gardens. I'll go to community gardens, work, and get free veggies. I will walk as much as I can, beacuse I think if the government is going to charge this much, they don't deserve my money. That is so over priced. I could take the bus. Anyway $5.00 a gallon. I remember when I was in high school, it was $1.95 a gallon.

Weaning off Paxil day 7 I think.

I felt depressed, and sad this morning. Then I got over it. I thought to myself "If I was taking Paxil, I would be numb, and not feel these feelings, I would be numb. I wouldn't even deal with these feelings. People could walk all over me, or I can be fake with people, and just be numb." Then I thought when you have anxiety, you're having a fight or flight reaction. This is a signal to the brain something is wrong. When anxiety happens, I need to listen to my body, and find out why I am reacting like this.

This is hard. It helps get rid of baby belly fat though. It's an ab work out, that kicks you in the butt. it is HARD! This is the song that comes in my head when I do this work out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIvx7zjFSQg

I bought a lemon, and learned so much about cars :-X

Take a look at these cars. Which one would you buy? Which one is the most reliable? I've owned all three, and I love my Nissan 1991 Stanza xe. It is most reliable, always there for me. I've had transportation since I was 17. I take good care of her, I change the oil synthetic, every 10 thousand miles. She gets a tune up about every 30, spark plugs cap and router. Flush the transmission fluid. Change timing belt, and water pump every 60 or so.... She's lasting, and she is always reliable. I can take her on the high way, she accelerates. Get's me where I need to go. I loved the Toyota Avalon XLS. I thought it was just a beautiful car. It got hit by a semi, and the insurance totaled it :( It was a v6, accelerated so fast. It need it's alignment done, that's all. It was a 1998 with 180,000 miles. We put a new timing belt. The interior was beautiful, it had a sun roof. I almost cried when the tow truck came to total it. We just got a new PT CRUISER from Chrysler. Now, with this car, I really got a schooled on cars. I know so much about cars now 0_o it's just how I learned was a hard, difficult, agonizing lesson. It's a 2006, with 55,000 miles on it. It overheated 3 days after buying it. The person that sold it to us, sold us an unreliable car, that over heated. Jesse, my husband, knew it would. He goggled these cars, before he bought it, and read about over heating issues. When he bought it he asked the guy, "Is this car going to over heat on me". he said no. He was full of it. Before Jesse test drove it, the person that sold it to us said "Don't drive it to far". Oh my gosh, I didn't know this. Jesse should of just left. He knew, he is intelligent enough, he was being impulsive. He was hypnotized with how new the car was, and how low the millage was. It was cheap. He said since we are friends with his friends, he'll give us two grand off, a discount. That was b.s., since you're dumb enough to buy this car from me, a PT Cruiser 2006 with 55 miles on it, and at such a low price 4,700, I'm making money off of you. So, Jesse wanted to fix this problem. At least he is trying. We went about it wrong, and spent our savings that we need. Now, we're late on the mortgage. That should be a different blog. Anyway, They guy told us to put in a new thermostat, bla, bla, bla. Then a new gasket. Yeah right. You don't sell a car messed up like that. So, we put in a new thermostat, water pump, timing belt, new fan, and fan relays. We also replaced the radiator fluid 100 freakin' times. We have a nice mechanic friend! He does it, and a good job too, for a very reasonable price. Still over heating. We took it to Chrysler, to have it diagnosed. They rip you off. Don't go to a dealer, unless you make over 100 grand a year. They just say needs new cooling fan module. They'll tell us more, and fix it for $800 to start. Haha not falling for that. That's not even what's wrong with it. So now, we have the guy that sold us the car. After going through this hell, we call him up, tell him everything we have done, he said he'll fix it, it needs a new gasket, or a new head. But we pay half. Jesse says we don't have the money. I tell him, oh no, this guy needs to be served lol, he lacks character. He is ripping you the hell off. You need to tell him, be assertive. He's ripping you, and your family off, and you're letting him. He calls him up, and tells him off. Now, he admits he sold us a car with a cracked head. Fine, you fix the damn thing yourself, because we have rights, what you did was illegal you dishonest prick, and you're not gonna get away with it on my watch, bitch haha. Now he is fixing it. I told him you're not gonna just patch it up, I wanna watch your mechanic do it, and you are going to pay the bill. I want this car like new. I know my rights, and I will get an attorney and sue your ass. When I went to see him, he looked ashamed. Well, good! maybe he will learn, and develop better character for his business. Or maybe, he'll make a bad decision, and I will have an opportunity to reveal some light on "his business", to the public, Who knows? not now. So, now moral of the story is is this. If something like this happens to you Google that Sh*t, look the laws up. This is wrong. Be preventative, know your stuff, and use intuition when you buy a car, don't get in this position in the first place. Don't get into a car fast, don't be compulsive, take your time. If it's too good to be true, it's too good to be true. So, if this happens to you this is what you can do.... File a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission. http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/autos/aut03.shtm when you submit a complaint, you get an email with a confirmation code, and a phone number, call them! Print this up, and show the person that sold you the car. Federal Trade Commission "Protects American's Consumers". It's illegal to sell a car, and not go over the history, enclose what's wrong with it, etc. So, here is a video on how to file a complaint: http://www.ftc.gov/multimedia/video/scam-watch/file-a-complaint.shtm GOOD LUCK! Details about the law that they are breaking: http://www.lemonjustice.com/lemon-law/CO_lemon_law_used.php Unfair and Deceptive Acts and Practices (UDAP) laws. Broke this law too. Finally, get an attorney, they have free consultation. Use them, it's worth it. You get money in the end, because you'll win! Print all this up and take it to the a hole that sold you the car! Just because they're dishonest, doesn't mean you have to be! Look, you broke the law concerning this car you sold me. This is the action I'm taking. Be upfront. Honesty is the best policy. I'm being honest with my intentions. Just because you tried to screw me doesn't mean you can get away with it. If you can learn from this, good, don't let them get away with this.... I love my Nissan. It might be old, but it is so reliable. It gets up and goes. I can take my kids to the Zoo, or down town, we go every week, with that car. I'm never car-less. I think I should sell the PT cruiser and buy a old Jap car for 200 dollars, give it a tune up, replace the timing belt, and water pump, maybe the axial? sp? and cb joint. Then, use a small business, or mechanic friend. Watch me save thousands over the years, and have reliable cars. My friends, and other people make fun of me for having such an old car and laugh. I have a reliable, speedy, smooth running and driving car. Guess what? I laugh at you, the joke is on you. ahahahaha. My friend told me old cars are made better. Actually, a few friends told me that. I wonder if they're right....?

"Spring Cleaning".

I get the saying now. Before I didn't. I was thinking who wants to clean when it is so nice outside? This saying is ridiculous, and annoying. Now I want to get rid of all my junk in my house. Spring is a time to start over, so I want to get my house organized better. OK, now I understand this saying. I'll donate it all my junk. The house will look much better, and my closets won't be full of junk. I can just leave it outside, and in this neighborhood, if you don't want something, someone will come along, and take it within an hour. It's nice. Got junk? don't want it? Put it outside. They'll take it! :) Awesome. I can always donate to the ARC. I guess we have that saying because we like to "store up" for the Winter and hibernate. Then when Spring comes, we wake up, start fresh, and want to rid of what we don't need.

My book list:

This is a cute book about marriage:


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This is a book about being thankful:

I'm doing a Beth Moore study on James. It's about how James, didn't believe, then after the resurrection he did:

REVIEW TO COME!

Day 6: Weaning off Paxil:

Feel much better. Paxil may have been causing me to feel depressed. I woke up, carless. Instead of feeling depressed or hopeless about it, I am fine with it. I would get an empty feeling. I think it was messing with my biochemistry. Glad I'm weaning. I wake up feeling great!

weaning of Paxil

Most of the time, I feel really good. I think it was the Paxil causing anxiety. I think my biochemistry is normal, I need to work on emotional/environmental that causes it. That is healthier, because it always comes back, and I need to deal with it. I think that since I've been taking it on and off again for 10 years, I reach a threshold, where it no longer works, and I end up in bed for two months. I can't take something that has a hold on me like that. It's like taking drugs, but prescription. It's like it controls you.

I say my biochemistry is normal, because, my blood work is normal. I read that fish oil, (omega 3 fatty acids), and flax seed oil, increase serotonin. Also, if I get anxiety, I can take 5htp, but I'd rather use cognitive behavioral therapy. Exercise increases serotonin. I gained weight, probably because "the drug" quit working on me. Well, I am going to try fish oil, 3 times a day, and flax seed oil, along with exercise.

I started taking Zoloft, when I had Isabelle. I acted anxious, because I had a c-section awake. I could see what was going on in the reflection in the ceiling, because they has a glass mural of nature. Then the next day they gave me Zoloft. I guess I felt I needed. I felt relieved of depression, and anxiety, and lost tons of weight. When I think about it though, I can do this for myself. Changing my thoughts, applying self control, diet exercise, eating right. Well, the past is the past, and now I can change.

It is Sring time...

New life to me. Everything is new, and blooming. New flowers, leaves. Time for a fresh start, and new beginning. I feel refreshed and energized.

My journey weaning off Paxil.

Day 1. March 14 2012. Day after my daughters 6th bday. I've decided to wean of Paxil. I think what made me wean, is that I am gaining weight, and feel famished all the time. I am overeating like something else. Probably because serotonin has something to do with controlling your appetite.

Today I feel quite stoned, dizzy, and weak. I do feel silly, and happy... I think I've been on this meds too long. I am a very healthy person. From now on, I am going to take care of my emotional, mental, and physical health. I believe I can go without this med, as long as I don't let people walk all over me, and I am true to myself. Take negativity as unproductive, with a grain of salt....